Peonies Blown in the Wind, John La Farge, American, ca. 1880; Source: The Met
CEFR Level B2-C1
This is the final post on jhagencyllc.com. The site is moving to thevarietypage.com. New blog posts will be there. In the Garden of Gethsemane
There is a scene in the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus prays for God's will to be done. (Matthew 26:36-44) I have only heard this talked about as God’s will being that Jesus be executed. Under that understanding, God sounds cruel. What loving entity wants his son/himself to be tortured to death, even if it is for the greater good? What kind of messed up entity designs a plan for their child/themself to be tortured to death, even if it is for the greater good?
We can talk about God’s ways being hard for humans to understand, but what if we don’t have to in this case? What if God’s will means something else here? If this passage is read under the assumption that God is love and that love does not harm, then other interpretations of God’s will open up. What could we learn about God’s character if in the Gethsemane scene, God’s will is that humans are free to make their own choices, even knowing that they will make the choice to execute Jesus-God? What we might learn
We might learn that there is a possibility that God did not want Jesus to die, but that God was so committed to allowing humans to make their own decisions that God designed a way to make something good come from humans’ bad choices. We might open the possibility that if all the people Jesus encountered decided to follow the way of Jesus and accept him as Messiah, then there is the possibility that Jesus would not have been executed and we would be experiencing 2,000 of fulfillment of all the goodness and restoration that God wants. We would open the possibility that Jesus did not have to die in order to bring salvation and healing and all the goodness humans long for. We might discover more love and respect in God’s character than the crucifixion story suggests.
This interpretation also helps to answer the question about why God doesn’t just come to earth and fix everything. Through reading the Gospels, we learn that God already did that. The problem is, Jesus-God did not go about fixing things the way humans think it should happen. Jesus-God continued to allow humans to make their own decisions about how to respond to God. Jesus-God went around healing and restoring and teaching people a better way of living. Bit by bit, person by person, he brought God’s kingdom to earth, starting the process of making all things new. The humans without power didn’t understand why God didn’t come in, destroy all the people doing bad things, and protect God’s special people. The humans with power really did not like Jesus’ restoration project because it made them look bad and challenged what they accepted as the way things should be. In both cases, God stayed true to God’s nature of not forcing humans to do what God wants, of valuing all humans (even the ones doing bad things (see Jonah and Nineveh)), and of continuing to work towards restoration of Earth and its inhabitants despite humans working against it. If Jesus’ prayer was for God’s will for humans to be free to make their own decisions to be upheld, even if it meant his own execution, that’s a very different picture from a god who wants a blood sacrifice in order to be appeased (AKA penal substitutionary theory of atonement). It also teaches us that God sweeping in to fix things won’t turn out the way we imagine because of God’s character and human responses to God’s character. Your will be done
Your will be done: Let humans continue to make their own decisions. Don’t change that part of the relationship between you and them just to save me. Let humans continue to be humans. We will conquer all that harms them, no matter how long it takes. Your will be done.
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Saint Bridget of Sweden, Master of Soeterbeeck, ca. 1470; Source: The Met
CEFR Level C1-C2
Humans really like having a deity angry at them.
This is not a sponsored review.
CEFR Level B2-C1
I debated for a year about purchasing these. Anything form-fitting rarely fits my body. I hate close-fitting garments that pull up into my crotch because there isn’t enough room for my thighs or buttocks. I kept seeing positive comments on Wardrobe Oxygen, and even though Alison is a different body type from me, I finally decided the discomfort of bike shorts was worth risking losing the cost of one pair of Thigh Society cooling anti-chafe shorts.
CEFR Level C1-C2
“What is the good news that Jesus himself announced and told his followers to announce as well (2)?” This question frames the purpose of the entire book and Wright takes readers along as he works through the question in the context of 21st-century Western Christianity. Appropriately, Wright does not use the modern context of the discussion to inform the answer. Rather, he answers the objections and questions he anticipates people living in 21st-century Western Christianity may have, using Jesus’ context when defining what the good news is. This historical context is what Wright calls the “backstory,” proposing that we cannot understand the good news if we do not understand the backstory (3).
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Cake or pie?
Brownies. Pepsi or Coke? Tea. Cat or dog? Bird. Christian or not? What do you mean by “Christian”? Boy or girl? Why is that the first thing you want to know? 
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Professional Sexual Ethics: A Holistic Ministry Approach, edited by Patricia Beattie Jung and Darryl W. Stephens (Fortress, 2013) is a collection of essays on the topic of sexuality in ministry. The essays are divided into four sections. The book can be read straight through or essays can be read in isolation. The 21 contributors have diverse biases, but all the essays contribute to the premise that humans, and therefore people who work in ministry, are sexual, so sexuality is part of everything a minister does.
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This article comes with a big caveat about economic realities. Nothing I wonder here is a condemnation of people doing what they have to do to survive or the choices someone makes on how to divide their income. This essay isn’t intended to comment on what we do. It is intended to wonder about the unintended, and perhaps hidden, outcomes of what we do. This essay is not advice; it’s curiosity.
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Monday
On Monday, I got up early enough to have breakfast and check out of the hotel, giving myself 45-minutes for the 20-minute drive to campus. I didn’t think I would need the extra time, but I didn’t see any reason to sit and twiddle my thumbs in the hotel room, either.
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My knees and feet hurt so much on Saturday evening that I had decided to keep Sunday as a recovery day. I planned a gentle walk at Jacob’s Nature Park and then a stroll through downtown.
I think the white car was dropping someone off, not parked there as part of the antique show.
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Friday
Events: Reserve hotel for that night, 10:00 a.m. hair cut, pack car, drive four hours to the Super 8 at Lebanon, VA
Early Friday morning, I reserved a hotel room for that night, selected purely on low price and proximity to The Channels trailhead. A secondary desire was to go somewhere I hadn’t been before, which is partly how I ended up reserving a room in Lebanon, VA. After my 10:00 a.m. haircut, I came home and rushed through lunch before packing the car, kissing my husband goodbye, and settling in for a long drive while listening to Wuthering Heights. 
CEFR Level B2-C1
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In May 2026, I was an online student at Emmanuel Christian Seminary. For some classes, we go on campus for a week. The first week of May was an on-campus week. After evaluating my travel options, I decided that it would be cheaper for me to drive in than to fly and rent a car.
This trip came a week after finals. That week was filled with doing all the things I let slide during the semester. I just could not get my brain to turn to packing. I debated removing the Channels hike so that I would have an extra day to prepare, but I had been putting off the trip for years and going now would only be a 30-minute (one way) side trip. 
Image Source: JC Penney; Click image to go to product listing
CEFR Level C1-C2
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If you’ve missed it, high-waisted trousers are all the rage in Spring 2026. I eagerly await the return of mid-rise pants. Why?
CEFR Level C1-C2
Background
As of April 2026, I have spent two semesters each formally studying biblical Greek and biblical Hebrew. I also have a B.A. in Spanish and have informally dabbled in at least five other languages. Additionally, I am certified to tutor ESL. All this to say, I’ve spent a lot of time both learning languages and thinking about how to teach them. I acknowledge that biblical languages are no longer spoken (like 13th-century English is no longer spoken), but I think there are crossover principles in how adults learn.
CEFR Level B2-C1
Independent Bookstore Day 2026 is Saturday, April 25.
Why do independent bookstores matter?
Depending on what you value, they may not. Here’s why I think they do.  CEFR Level C1-C2 I’ve occasionally had conversations with people who say they like movies better than books because they can actually see what happens. These same people don’t like closed-door scenes because even though they understand what is implied, they say that without seeing it, they don’t know what happens. They say it makes it more real to actually see the action rather than having to imagine it from implication.
 This is more than fear
Each responding without thought To some past violence so cruel I gag to imagine. The dog barks and pulls The lead pulling him backwards The woman cowers and hides Her veil no protection From scared growling fangs That thankfully aren’t today The attack her body fears Knowing no one is safe. I can do nothing But give a sad, rueful smile A hand half-raised in, I hope, A sign of peace conveying I see her terror And wish it flung far from her So she, too, can walk in joy, Unafraid in the sun. 
CEFR Level C1-C2
Easter has me thinking about light/The Light (AKA Jesus Christ). I wrote a piano piece designed to improvise around a short theme and called it Meditation on Light.
Then I thought about communion and how free and light I feel during the ceremony in my current church compared to my previous experiences. Then I wrote a reflection (or poem or whatever term you want to use) to coordinate with the music (sheet music available… when I have the time to format and post it). 
CEFR Level C1-C2
Our Culture Approves of Assault
St. Patrick’s Day brought back something I think about often: consent. My understanding is that assault is legally defined as touching someone without their consent when that touch is harmful or offensive (https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/assault). With that definition, the US has a holiday where we teach children to cause others physical pain and call it fun, perhaps especially if the person we are trying to hurt is running away from us. Accompanying that practice, we teach children that they are wrong to be upset when someone causes them physical pain during the day when society has agreed that a specific type of hurting someone without their consent is acceptable.
Take a minute to think about how those socially acceptable practices may or may not affect how a person thinks about domestic violence or sexual assault, then come back for my thoughts on consent and spiritual practices. 
CEFR Level C1-C2
I love candles and wax melts. The wax melts from Bee Coco are my favorite (not an affiliate link). Their scents are more complex and sophisticated than I’ve found elsewhere. For candles, I like pure beeswax or the scented candles at Thistle Farms (not an affiliate link).
With wax melts, the scent eventually goes away or becomes subtle enough that I want to use new cubes. For candles, no matter what I do, there is always some amount of tunneling. What to do with the leftover wax? 
CEFR Level B1-B2
Continuing with our consideration of how the different ways people relate to money could be connected to their theology of money, let’s look at the money personality that is characterized by spending money to help others. My summary of this type is that they find security in feeling needed by others and they create this value by giving generously. If there’s something to donate to or someone in need, helper types will probably give!
CEFR Level B1-B2
As part of a seminary class on money and ministry, I filled out a [confidential] money autobiography. That set of journaling questions is from Dan R. Dick.
After completing that exercise, I was curious about what other forms of a money autobiography there were. The internet loves “what are you” quizzes. Okay, fine. I am entertained by those quizzes, even if I have my doubts about the validity of the conclusions. I searched for “money autobiography quiz” and found various options, each with their own labeling system. I won’t use anyone else’s creative titling here. I’ll just talk about broad themes.
CEFR Level B1-B2
The Background
Education is dangerous. It gives people ideas. When people have ideas, they start to think. Thinking means asking questions. Asking questions means authority cannot have unwavering obedience. That is bad for The Authority.
I was raised to obey The Authority without question. I was told The Authority always has my best interest in mind. Whether or not I was explicitly taught this, I came to believe that it was disobedience to even want something different from what the person in authority wanted. Any of my own ideas got shut up in a filing cabinet called “They Must Know Something I’ll Learn Later.” 
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This essay is for the people who, like me, became adults believing that if they hadn’t prepared for every eventuality, if they didn’t see every possible solution before anyone else did, then they were deficient, irresponsible humans.
Prefer to read the version that connects to ministry? Read on my Substack!
The Story St. Valentine by Jacques Callot CEFR Level B2-C1 At least, if you believe in obeying laws that violate your religious beliefs.
CEFR Level B1-B2
I recently finished reading Warrior Girl, a novel by Carmen Tafolla. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by current events in the US, I think you would benefit from reading this book. It isn’t long, it’s a story, and the writing is easy to read.
Instead of doing a formal review, I want to share what I wrote the morning after staying up too late to finish the book. What I’ll read has quotes from page 52 of the book. I'll indicate those sections with an asterisk after them. You can also hear me read this. |