Money: The Helpers & Givers

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Continuing with our consideration of how the different ways people relate to money could be connected to their theology of money, let’s look at the money personality that is characterized by spending money to help others. My summary of this type is that they find security in feeling needed by others and they create this value by giving generously. If there’s something to donate to or someone in need, helper types will probably give!​

In the US culture I was raised in, this type of relationship to money was cautiously praised in church but discouraged outside of church. As we look at scripture, let’s do our best, with an ear turned towards the Spirit’s guidance, to separate cultural values from biblical principles. To help put us in a learning mindset, think about this question: Where in the Old or New Testament is there a caution about being generous?
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I couldn’t find one. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, but it does mean that it would be a rare concept.

What about being responsible?

You’re probably wondering about stewardship and responsibility. If you were raised in the type of culture I was, then make a note of this discomfort you’re feeling. This is a good topic for your personal bible study.

Briefly, I’ll say that there is a scriptural call to take care of our own responsibilities. Deuteronomy is full of commands for the people in power (men) to take financial care of the people without power, like their wives, including when other people with power have taken advantage of the powerless. Deuteronomy 26:12 can be understood as a command to provide for oneself, but also to provide intentionally for the vulnerable. There are other examples, but that’s a study on its own.
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So, some people find value by giving to others. Scripture approves of giving, but this is in the context of fulfilling financial responsibilities to those who depend on you.

Shouldn’t others always come first?

I want to take a minute to speak to people who have been told that they don’t count, that they aren’t a good Christian if they take care of themselves. Has anyone heard of the JOY acronym? It stands for Jesus first, Others second, You last. I think this is one of those ideas that has a grain of truth, but its application misses the mark. 

Jesus, who I take to represent the triune God in this acronym, should be first in our lives. Even if this isn’t explicitly said in scripture, I think “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37) gets at the idea, along with Deuteronomy 5:7 (“You shall have no other gods before [Yahweh]”). If this were an exploration of who comes first in our lives, I would spend more time here, but for today’s argument, let’s accept that God comes first in our thoughts and actions. 

In the Matthew quote, Jesus continues by saying in verse 38 “Love your neighbor as yourself.” That sounds like putting others before you, right? But if you’re putting others first to the point that you don’t take care of your own needs, to the point that you are not thriving, to the point that you think you don’t deserve to thrive, then what does that mean for treating others like you treat yourself? 

It means you don’t take care of their needs, you don’t do what you can to help them thrive, you don’t think they deserve to thrive. I’m sure we can all agree that this is not what Jesus meant! So, without taking the time today to dig into all the scripture that would support my claim, let’s accept that the only way to love another as yourself is to prioritize yourself and others in such a way that you and your neighbor are filled with wellbeing. It’s not a hierarchy. It’s a both/and.
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What I want you to take away from this is that self-abasement to the point that you no longer consider yourself worthy of the same status and care as others is not a biblical concept.

Thinking Deeply

Now back to helper types. I’ll focus the following comments on giving financially, but you could substitute non-financial helping in most cases, too. 

Is there a problem with finding value by giving to others? In Christian jargon, is it sin? If you’ve been in a certain type of church for any length of time, you probably know that the approved answer is “Our value should come from God alone.” But is this statement faithful to the scriptural evidence?

I suggest that it isn’t and that God created humans to need direct contact from another living being rather than an emotional or spiritual feeling of connection without a tangible physical presence. In Genesis 2:15-16, God interacts with Adam. “Adam” is also understood to be a generic term for humankind. God puts Adam/a human in a garden and gives him a command. In verse 21, we have a scene of God performing surgery on Adam. Surgery is a direct-contact experience. Then in Genesis 3:8, we are told that God walked in the garden and Adam and Eve hid from God. Again, this suggests a physical presence of God. If God were able to be physically present in the Garden with Adam and Eve in Chapter 3, it seems like God would also be able to be physically present with Adam alone in Chapter 2, including before God performed surgery on Adam. If God were physically present with Adam and if it is true that God is all a human needs, then why did God say it is not good for Adam, also understood as humankind, to be alone? 

If you believe that God was only spiritually with Adam, that connects even more strongly to our lives today. If God was spiritually with Adam and said it was not a good situation because Adam didn’t have another human, then why do some Christians today say that humans should only need God? The stories in Genesis tell us that Godself said that it is not good for a person to be alone with only God and no other human. 

It doesn’t make sense to believe that God made humans to need other humans, therefore, a human should only get their feeling of value from God. Even stating the ideas in a different combination doesn’t help them to make sense together: God made humans to only need God, therefore God declared that it is not good for a human to be alone and gave that human another human as a companion. The only thing that makes sense is that God does not think a human only needs God alone and to deny that is going against God’s will. 

We could test this against other scriptures, but for today, let’s accept the argument that humans need other humans in order to thrive, including emotionally. 

Now, of course a good thing can be used wrongly. In the case of money helper types, making themselves feel valuable by giving money is problematic when they don’t feel valuable if they aren’t giving. Referring back to Genesis 1:31, God saw all that God had made, including humans, and called it good. The fact that God called humans good is an indicator that a human has intrinsic value simply by existing. A person’s foundational identity should be “I have value because God made me and called me good.”

If you’re wondering if things changed when Adam and Eve disobeyed God, that’s a topic for another day. My short answer is that I don’t think their sin changed the inherent value of something God creates, including humans living in the 21st century.

Perhaps this analogy will help. Think about a ruby before it is found by a human. That ruby still has value to humans, even if they don’t know about that specific specimen. When that ruby is found, it is rough and dirty. Maybe only an expert could identify it as a ruby. The fact that it doesn’t look valuable and is in a less valuable state doesn’t change its inherent value. I think humans are similar. Humans may do evil things and that’s bad, but the evil that has infiltrated their thoughts and actions doesn’t change the human’s inherent value. If you want to study this more, you could look for arguments for and against imago Dei.  

Alright, let’s connect this back to money helper types. I suspect that in an Eden-like world, a person would understand their intrinsic value and that value would also be confirmed by the other humans that God gave as companions. As a side note, I absolutely am not saying that the biblical narrative says that a woman should be a man’s cheerleader. I am saying that a human needs the companionship of another human and this condition was acknowledged and provided for by God.

Unfortunately, the biblical narrative is one long story of how humans don’t live up to what God created them for, as described in Genesis 1-2 and other sections of the law books. The plan was for humans to live in harmony with God, with each other, and the natural world. This means that even if a person’s foundation is that their value comes from God, they may still lack the companionship of another human to confirm that value.
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The challenge for the money helper type is to give generously because they care for their neighbor, but not because they are trying to manipulate others into liking them. I don’t suspect that most helper types think about their actions as manipulation. They probably think of their actions as helping and they probably often are helping. The problem comes when a helper type helps for the primary purpose of having others like them.

Wait, I’m confused

It may sound like I’m contradicting myself. Let’s summarize. Humans have value simply for existing. That should be the foundation of how a person thinks about themself. Humans also have a need for validation from others. This in itself is not wrong. The problem comes when a person either does not accept that they have inherent value or when the need for validation from others is so strong that the person makes decisions based on the criterion of whether or not the action will gain them acclamation. Helping because you see the other person as valuable and because the Christian faith is one of caring for others and then feeling good when praised for it is probably okay. It’s when the helping happens with the goal of receiving praise that it becomes a problem.
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Going back to Jesus saying to love your neighbor as yourself, the natural follow-up question is, “Who is my neighbor?” The parable of the good Samaritan tells us (Luke 10:25-37) that the person you despise the most is your neighbor. The implication is that people you like better are also your neighbor. So, from yourself to the people you like a lot to the people you like a little to the people you dislike to the people you wish didn’t exist, that is the spectrum of people who are your neighbors. In other words, everyone is your neighbor. A deeper study can be done on who gets priority in our giving and how to give responsibly, but the one conclusion that is challenging to debate is that the Old and New Testaments expect God’s people to give to others so that everyone can have what they need - and “everyone” includes the giver.

Yeah, do I give or not?

That was a lot of theory, but what’s the practical use of this discussion?
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For money helper types, I suggest reflecting on the parable of the bags of gold in Matthew 25:14-30 from the perspective of generous giving. The person who saved their money in order not to lose anything was told they made a bad decision. The people who invested the money and got more were praised. What we don’t know is what was done with the money that was earned. We’ve already established that God likes it when people physically provide for the poor and financially vulnerable. It seems to me that saving and investing money like planner types, but using the proceeds like helper types, is consistent with scriptural guidance. I would love to hear what helper types think about as they contemplate this parable. 
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I want to leave helper types with this set of questions: What are the motives behind your giving? Do your motives leave you feeling resentful if your efforts are insufficiently appreciated? Are you giving at the expense of caring for yourself or those under your care? Is your giving an expression of your faith, a way to ensure that you always feel valued, or something else?

Let’s turn this question set into a closing prayer.

God, it makes me happy to give. I like helping others. Please help me to understand clearly what my motivations for giving are. I want them to align with your will. Sometimes, I feel taken advantage of because I’m always helping, but no one helps me or recognizes the sacrifices I make. You gave me the gift of being able to give generously and cheerfully. Please help me to use that gift in a way that honors you. Help me to separate cultural expectations from your expectations. Sometimes, I may have given beyond my means or in ways that harmed me or those in my care. I’m sorry about that, especially when it caused my loved ones anxiety or harm. Help me to develop a holy practice of giving. Thank you for being with me as I encounter confusing and challenging ideas around biblical giving and helping. You are the God of light and truth and clarity. I look to you for all this as I seek to follow you with all my heart, soul, and mind in financial matters.

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