August 2: Surprise! Time Off Is Boring

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

​I came to Gone Ridin’ Ranch yesterday. It rained in the morning, so I met Sam, the manager, when he was in town picking up guests and I followed him in. I probably would have nearly gotten lost if I hadn’t, but then again, he gave me good directions. They didn’t want me to work yesterday, so I wandered around and met people. 

Today, I was on the 6:30-2:30 shift, shadowing a waitress and housekeeper, which is what I’ll be doing. The waitressing work is overwhelming and a little frightening. I know I can do it. Maybe tomorrow will be better because I’ve had an introduction.

Off time is just as hard. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as lost and lonely and out-of-place as I have on this trip. Adventuring is not exciting. It’s nerve wracking. Then again, without an element of the unknown, the excitement is of a different kind. When you look forward to something, that’s excitement. What’s this other feeling?

Yesterday was rainy and cold. This morning at 6:30, it was 34 F and there was a frost. In August! 

This land is beautiful. The people are nice. The job is daunting.

I am a musician. When will my interests, talents, and core being combine? What can I do to make it happen? As yet, I have no dream, only vague ideas and points of greater or lesser interest.

As I was writing, Alex, the dog, lay down and let me pet her for a long time. It was just what I needed.