August 9: Once Again, I'm Not In Private When I Cry

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

​We had a cookout for the guests last night and Robert the Mountain Man came and gave a talk. He belongs to an organization of about 600 who practice the skills of mountain men and sometimes live the lifestyle. 

Robert came riding in, whopping and speaking what I guess is an Indian language. He is dressed in buckskin and his face is covered in red and black paint. He talks about the history and life of mountain men, showing the tools, springing a trap, and shooting a rifle. He also tells stories about mountain men from the 1800s. 

The guests seem to enjoy him. It gets boring for the staff, but the guests’ reactions can be amusing. The two times I’ve seen him, they have asked some intelligent questions.

I had today off and went on a 4-hour ride led by Wes, one of the older wranglers. We had lunch at a cowboy cabin that hasn’t been used in some years. Wes caught me crying.

In a way, I don’t mind because he was really nice about it and I think he’ll keep his own council. I just hope he believes me that it had nothing to do with him. I don’t know what was wrong. Same thing as always since I got here - an unexplained emotional switch. 

We saw several antelope, including a baby. We also saw some skeletons. They looked like something out of a dinosaur movie. (Then again, I’ve never actually seen a dinosaur movie.)

On the way back, we had a lot of wind and that was therapeutic. Still, it’s taken a good nap to get me back even. I don’t want to blame the emotional swings on lack of sleep. I get 7-8 hours at night and 1-2 most afternoons. At summer camp, I would work off of 5-7 hours and be tired, but emotionally fine. Who knows?

Ezra, another cook, is really nice. He’s never scolded or made fun of me and he’s always glad to help. Yesterday, I was trying to open a box of wine bottles and bent my nail back past the quick. He stopped what he was doing, even though I know he was super busy, and opened the box for me. When he saw I was bleeding, he ran all over the lodge and then up to his room to get me a Band-Aid. Then he helped me open and re-cork the bottle.