Change Is Exciting

CEFR Level B2-C1

I love change. Apparently, that makes me a weirdo.

​Everyone talks about how change is hard.* I get scolded that we shouldn’t change just for the sake of change. First of all, I never said that’s what I wanted. Secondly, why not? If I can afford it, if it brings me pleasure, and if it only minimally inconveniences others, why shouldn’t I change for the sake of change? 

I get fussed at for not settling down, for not letting things stay as they are. But why should I? My mind is full of ideas and for every idea realized, ten more appear. There are so many interesting things in the world. Why would I stop trying to discover them? Life is growth. Dormancy is still. Why would I want to live as if I were dormant?

I would say that change is hard because transitions are hard. But a transition doesn’t last forever. Live through the transition and you’ll get to normal. Is it the change that people don’t like or the transition?

I dislike transitions. There is too much uncertainty. I thrive on routine, but if I let discomfort stop me, I would never do anything fun.

Then again, how much I dislike the transition depends on what exactly is happening and how much time I’ve had to plan for contingencies and to imagine the outcome. The transition of painting a room is annoying, but I don’t dread that so much as feel overwhelmed by the work involved. The transition of flying from one country to another is stressful because of inflexible timelines, but I don’t dread that so much as feel anxious about the consequences of missing the flight. The transition of starting a new job should be the most frightening, but it’s this type of big chance that fills me with excitement. Sure, there’s risk. All rewarding things are risky, aren’t they? And it’s not foolhearty risk; it’s a calculated risk. Calculated risks are the best changes.

I supposed you could say that I hate change if I haven’t had time to prepare. Don’t show up to our coffee date and say we’re going fishing instead. That’s rude. I didn’t dress for fishing. Don’t tell me that we’re leaving at 9:00 a.m. and then not be ready until 10:30. That’s inconsiderate. I got up early to be sure I was ready by the appointed time. 

If these seemingly minor schedule changes are what you mean by change, then sure, I hate change. But when I say change, I mean the things that have a longer impact on your life: moving, hair style, re-decorating a room, leaving a group where you disagree with the majority of what they promote.

I love these life-altering changes not because the process of change is enjoyable but because of the possibilities. Change is a blank page, an open trail, a new chance. What beautiful, exciting, life-giving things exist that I haven’t yet experienced? Change holds the promise of a little piece of all the vast goodness left to discover.

So what do I do when I think change is a possibility and all the world around me thinks change is a dragon to avoid? I accept that once again, I don’t experience life like the majority says I’m supposed to, and I walk forward, lonely but full of anticipation.

This makes me sound like a loner. I actually like people. Many changes involve other people. The challenge is to bring them along with me without coercing them. The challenge is to let them feel their feelings without hiding mine. 

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to fit in, but I used to try and never got good at it. I always knew I was playing a role. Sooner or later, my real feelings would show. Eventually, I gave up trying to play the part and embraced who I am. Now, my challenge is no longer conforming to expectations. Instead, it’s figuring out how to be a useful part of the ecosystem of humanity when I’m the odd one out. 

Being part of society requires some level of adaptation and altering our natural instincts. The question is, when have I crossed the line from being a positive contribution to society to being conformed into something I’m not?

*I think some of the “change is hard” rhetoric comes from employment practices where workers have little say over what happens to them. It makes a lot of sense that people would feel reluctant when they don’t have control over their lives. I suspect that instead of changing employment practices to give people agency over their lives, an industry was born to help employers wrangle compliance out of employees. My post today is less about those situations and more about personal life changes, although there is overlap in attitudes towards each category of change.