What Can You Do?

CEFR Level B2-C1

At the moment, my life feels like constant triage. Do I memorize Hebrew verb paradigms or read for my other class? Can I push off prep for that paper a day or two more? Do I do boring paid work or the work that I enjoy and hope will one day pay? Have I practiced for my piano lesson? I suppose I need to eat more than cheese and crackers, but that means cooking. Exercise would make me feel better, but the tub needs cleaning or I’ll regret it next time I clean. ​

I have a lot of respect for people who go to school while also taking care of a family. It’s not just about physical time to do everything, it’s about having available mental energy at the same time as the physical time. Add a job with set hours on top of that and I don’t know how people do it.

When I start to feel overwhelmed, I tell myself, “You know everything you can’t do. What can you do?” 

I usually answer myself, “Ughh! It’s too much. I give up everything!”

To which I answer, “No, really, what can you do?”

Then I give myself the stink eye and go study a stack of vocabulary cards or wash the dishes or whatever it is that I can do. It rarely takes as long as I dreaded and usually leaves me feeling like I accomplished something. Some days, that spurs me on to the next thing. Other days, my brain is so tired that I start the process again. 

Then there are the days when I just don’t. Sometimes, a day to do whatever is fun is all it takes to start again with renewed energy. The trick is to build enough of these days into a month without taking so many of them that it causes problems. 

If you were hoping for a “how to deal with holiday stress” post, here’s my suggestion. 

Do what you can that day and let it be enough. Just because you could do something, that doesn’t mean you have to do it.

In Ministry

If you were hoping for a ministry post, here are thoughts from that perspective.

Do what you can that day and let it be enough. Just because you could do something, that doesn’t mean you have to do it. Build fun and rest into your day and the church calendar. 

Years ago, when I was working full time but before I started seminary, I was so exhausted every weekend. Sundays were the worst day of the week, physically, mentally, and emotionally. On the other hand, the social interaction on Sundays energized me for the week. There was probably a spiritual benefit, too, but it was rare that I could directly point to a spiritual refreshing from Sundays like I could to a psychological refreshing from the socializing that came after church on Sundays. 

I remember one day while I was driving to work, asking God, “I’m so tired. What can I do?” 

“Take one Sunday a month off of church.”

“What? Are you sure? Did I make that up because it’s what I want?”

“Take one Sunday a month off of church.”

So I did. Except for when I didn’t because something fun came up at church that I wanted to participate in. 

“I’m so tired,” I prayed, “What can I change?”

“I gave you an answer.”

So, I started aggressively guarding my one Sunday a month off of church. I felt better for it. It was one of the best things I could have done for my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health. 

I’m not saying that taking a Sunday off of church is what God is telling everyone. I am saying that sometimes there is more within our control than we think. To find those options, we have to be open to where rules unnecessarily limit us and decide to do what we can instead of confusing crying about what we can’t do with praying about how to get it all done. 

This may sound sacrilegious if you are from a tradition that insists that everyone declare how refreshing church attendance is (and if you don’t think this is a requirement at your church, ask yourself what the response would be if a congregant said that Sundays are the most exhausting day of the week because they choose to attend church). If your church context suggests that skipping church is equivalent to disobeying God, then you may worry that reading this post will put you on God’s naughty list. (I don’t think considering options is sin.) If you are from that type of tradition, I suggest taking a look at what the Bible actually says about Sabbath and church attendance and asking if the way you understand certain passages is what the passage says or only what you think it says because of the church tradition you are from. 

This post isn’t intended to evaluate whether or not weekly church attendance is a biblical requirement. Clearly, I think it isn’t and a full treatment of the biblical and historical positions would be the length of a book. What this post is intended to do is to encourage people in church leadership to evaluate if pressuring (AKA encouraging) people to come to church every week is actually what God wants you to do. I also hope that sharing my experience will help ministers to ask God if they need to be at church every time the doors are open. Perhaps church culture needs to change so that part of a minister’s employment or volunteer agreement is that they will be expected to skip church every X Sundays. Even more broadly, in any area of ministry or church life, when you feel stuck, ask what you can do instead of meditating on what you can’t do.